When Things Go Bad… Do THIS
Every Sunday, I send you something to THINK about, a question to ASK yourself, something to TRY and invite you to SHARE.
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THINK
“When some things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for the many more things that are still going right.”
Anne Gottlier
Autumn is my second favourite season after Spring. After the fast-paced chaos and heat from the Summer, I look forward to settling down in September. The nights draw in, the temperature drops and the leaves finally match my beard.
As we close in on the end of Q3, I find the slower pace is perfect for reflection.
The perfect time to look back over 2023.
I’d like you to think about a failure, setback or bad situation that happened to you this year.
How did you deal with it?
Would you teach your children to act in a similar way or were you glad no one saw you?
In this week’s Newsletter, I’m going to show you how to deal with failure and challenging situations in a way that inspires others.
Most people suffer because they focus on ‘Loss, Less & Never’.
- They had something and lost it.
- They now have less of something.
- They’ve never had it.
But when things go bad, there’s always something good that comes along with it.
BAD – Experiencing debilitating anxiety and panic attacks in my 20s
GOOD – I learned how to manage it with therapy, psychology, meditation, breathing, nutrition, sleep and exercise. I would never have learned all this without it. I now have a far greater understanding of how the mind works, and I can help others who also struggle with it. I see my experience as a gift.
BAD – My dad died within 3 weeks of entering the Intensive Care Unit and I didn’t get to say goodbye.
GOOD – I learned how precious life is and how not to take it or people I care about for granted. His death lit a fire within me, and has helped me with my current relationships and perspective on life. I miss him so much. I’m not glad he’s dead but I’m better and stronger because of it.
I’m not suggesting that mental health or death are ‘good’ for us. They were jointly the darkest times of my life.
What I am saying is that if you look deep enough, you can find some good in any event.
And it’s finding the lessons or that thing to be grateful for that reduces the suffering and turns a negative into a positive.
Negativity is cowardly
In my time as a manager, I learned that negativity is cowardly.
It’s so easy to be negative, unappreciative and cynical. To highlight the 99% that prevents something from being perfect.
It’s hard to be optimistic, grateful and encouraging. To find the 1% win among the 99% faeces.
You have a choice – The easy route or the hard route.
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” – Jerzy Gregorek
Don’t be the person who constantly picks faults, and stay away from the people who do.
Instead, be the person who finds the learning or the win among the suffering.
Everyday Shit
Most of the time, we don’t have to concern ourselves with the most challenging aspects of life, like death. We’re too busy getting caught up in everyday shit.
Jim Rohn was the first person to teach me, “How we do anything is how we do everything.”
How you respond to the little stuff largely determines how you’ll respond to the big stuff.
So, it’s in our interest to practice how we react to everyday shit, so we’re better placed when the big stuff hits the fan.
The best reframe I’ve seen for tackling failures and setbacks is by Jocko Willink’s and his ‘Good’ video. It has over 11 million views, so there’s a ‘Good’ chance you’ve seen it.
Sorry, I can’t help myself. 😆
It’s a 2 min video, and I recommend you save it for the next time the shit goes down. Jocko’s an outstanding speaker, and if you’re anything like me, it’ll raise the hairs on the back of your neck and your arms.
Jocko shares a story of how someone in his team was dealing with a problem, he said to Jocko, “I already know what you’re gonna say”.
Jocko replied, “What am I going to say?”
He said, “You’re gonna say good. That’s what you always say when something is wrong and going bad. You always just look at me and say good.”
“Well yeah”, said Jocko, “When things are going bad there’s going to be some good that’s going to come from it.”
He then proceeds to give examples of how to turn negatives into positives and problems into opportunities.
He ends the video with a blood-thumping close that I will not do justice in text.
I recommend watching it for 2 mins and getting the full effect.
The next time you’re presented with a problem. Be brave and find the ‘Good’.
Reflect and share this with someone.
ASK
Think back to a failure, setback or bad situation that happened to you this year and ask yourself:
“How could I turn this negative into a positive?”
“Where is the opportunity for growth?”
“How am I grateful?”
Write down what comes to mind.
TRY
Watch the video and etch Jocko’s voice into your brain.
The next time a challenge or setback arises (you won’t have to wait long), try finding the ‘Good’.
HIT REPLY and tell me have you’ve found an opportunity in a problem or a silver lining in a dark cloud.
I read and reply to every email, and remember, I’m rooting for you.
Remember: Little by little, a little becomes a lot.
SHARE
Reply to this email and share how it went for you. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.
I would normally recommend sharing this with someone who needs it. The truth is, people don’t want to be told to find the good when they’re suffering. They want to vent.
Instead, I invite you to SHARE this message through action.
Be the change you want to see in this world and SHOW others how to handle difficulty.
Lead from the front and inspire others to follow.
Have an awesome week!
Huw
