The Control Principle: Harnessing the Power of Focus

Every Sunday, I send you something to THINK about, a question to ASK yourself, something to TRY and invite you to SHARE.

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THINK

“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it..”
Friedrich Nietzsche

Some things are 100% down to you.

Most things are not.

Have you ever thought about what would fall into each category?

It’s much more cut and dry than you realise.

The list of things you fully control is limited…

Things You Control 100%

Your opinions, beliefs, values, goals, and decisions to act (or not).

In short, your choices upon reflection.

Things You DON’T Control

Literally everything else.

This includes your health, career, relationships, reputation, and wealth.

Wait, what?! 😲

You can influence these things…

But you don’t control the outcome.

What The Actual F*ck, Huw?

“My colleagues at work and people online change my opinion and beliefs ALL THE TIME. Aren’t you attempting that right now?!”

Yes, people can influence your opinions and beliefs but you have ultimate control.

Andrew Huberman might share data from numerous studies highlighting the importance of morning sunlight exposure for regulating circadian rhythms and optimising mood, alertness, and overall health.

But you can always disagree, challenge or ignore it. You’re in control of the response.

“If I can’t control my body, wealth and relationships….who does?!”

HEALTH

You can obsess over optimal health practices and follow Brian Johnson’s Blueprint and still get hit by a car or fall victim to a life-threatening disease or illness.

WEALTH

You can work hard at your job and still get fired. You can live below your means, build a business, invest the difference and still get sued, divorced, take financial responsibility over expensive health care or have a competitor ruin your business.

RELATIONSHIPS

You might love your partner, friends and family more than anything in the world, and they might not love you back.

Happy Sunday!

The Control Principle

The only things that are REALLY yours are the things that you fully control.

Everything else is borrowed from the Universe, and the Universe can recall that thing at any given moment.

If you hold your happiness or well-being for ransom in exchange for anything outside of your control, you will inevitably suffer.

If, instead, you can focus your efforts on those things you fully control, you will go through life without envy, disappointment, anger or concern, no matter what life throws at you.

Serenity and equanimity await if you choose to receive them.

Is There Any Point in Anything?

Of course!

So much joy can be derived from the pursuit of health, wealth and relationships.

Note the underscore.

The outcomes – a six-pack, £1 Million Net Worth or a Supermodel partner – will not guarantee happiness.

The pursuit of actualising your potential is one of the most surefire ways to experience fulfilment in life.

Not the outcome.

Grab your sick bucket. You might need it…

Life is about the journey, not the destination. [Inspiring Hans Zimmer music plays in the background]

… you can uncurl your toes now.

Tune into Control

If you experience a strong desire or aversion for something, consider the source of the feeling.

Are you chasing something you fully control or wishing for something outside of it?

If you have 100% control over your desire or aversion, pour all your focus into it.

If not, detach your self-worth, happiness and well-being from it.

Example:

I’m creating an online investing course this year.

If I attach my self-worth, happiness, and well-being to things I don’t fully control, such as your feedback, the number of sales, and the amount of money I earn in the launch, I’m setting myself up to suffer.

If I focus on the things I do control, like my satisfaction from completing it, acknowledging the personal progress I’ve made through the process, and believing I’ve created a valuable product that genuinely helps people, I’m setting myself up for fulfillment.

Summary

Focus only on what you completely control.

Let go of what you don’t.

Try fulfilling your potential, knowing that it will never be reached.

And enjoy the ride.

Reflect and share this with someone.

ASK

“Where are you relying on something outside of your control for happiness?”

“How could you change your focus towards something you do control?”

Write down what comes to mind.

TRY

This week:

1) Try focusing your attention on the things you fully control.

Eg. Your opinions, beliefs, values, goals, and decisions to act (or not).

2) Try detaching your well-being from the outcome of external factors.

Eg. Everything else.

3) Try actualising your potential in any and all areas of your life, knowing you’ll never achieve perfection, and that’s not the point.

Fulfilment comes from the journey, not the outcome.

4) Try not to be sick.

HIT REPLY and let me know what you’re focussing on.

I read and reply to every email, and remember, I’m rooting for you!

Remember: Little by little, a little becomes a lot.

Reply to this email and share how it went for you. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.