How to Become Who You Were Meant To Be in 2024 (Part 2)
Every Sunday, I send you something to THINK about, a question to ASK yourself, something to TRY and invite you to SHARE.
Want to advertise in this Newsletter?
Book HERE
THINK
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”
Tony Robbins
Goals shape the direction of our lives.
If your goal is to become financially free in 5 years, your habits, behaviours and future will look very different from someone whose goal is to spend money freely without concern.
Goals are the Sat Nav on a journey. They provide clarity on the steps you need to take to arrive at a specific destination.
They guarantee nothing but make the improbable a reality by providing direction.
You have a choice…
1. Become the person you want to be and live your life by design.
2. Be forced to pursue the goals of others and wonder what could have been.
Last week in Part 1, I asked 7 Questions to ‘Unlock Mediocrity’ and 6 Questions to ‘Clarify The Best You’. (If you haven’t read Part 1, work through that first and then come back here)
Today, we’re going to use the insights we uncovered from Part 1 to create:
– Your Perfect Life
– Crystal clear directions and actionable steps to achieve ‘Your Perfect Life’
– Life-changing goals you CAN achieve
– The FASTEST way to change your behaviour
– How to STOP common problems derailing your efforts
– The 3 Stages of ‘The Success Cycle’
– 13 Steps to Becoming the Best Version of You in 2024
But first, let’s start with the end in mind.
The Meaning of Life
Why should you care about pursuing your potential?
If you asked Aristotle (Greek Philosopher) and Martin Seligman (Modern Positive Psychologist):
“What’s the meaning of life?”
You’d receive an almost identical answer:
– Aristotle – “Eudaimonia, via Arete”
– Seligman – “Flourishing, by living with virtue”
I thought you said it was almost identical.🤔
‘Eudaimonia’ can be translated as ‘good sprit’, the ‘highest good of life’ and ‘flourishing’.
‘Arete’ is a Greek concept that refers to something more than ‘excellence’. It’s ‘living with virtue’ and the ‘full realisation of potential’.
Ancient wisdom and modern science would agree that expressing the best version of yourself and closing the gap between who you’re capable of being (impossible perfect potential) and who you’re actually being (you right now) is the path to the highest good in life.
There is no room for anxiety, guilt or regret when you’re attempting to become the best you.
Only space for something more than happiness, a profound sense of joy – Eudaimonia or Flourishing.
Easier Said Than Done
Attempting to express the best version of yourself, is one of the most rewarding and difficult things you can do.
It will create an unshakable joy but first, you’ll need to get uncomfortable.
The path to the ‘highest good’ involves:
– Facing your fears
– Rejecting your vices
– Overcoming challenges
– and you’ll never be exonerated
“I’m out!” (Most people)
But not you…
You know you’re capable of so much more.
You’re sick of mediocrity and playing it small.
You’ve played the ‘other game’ and you know how it turns out.
You’re ready to meet the best version of yourself and experience ‘Your Perfect Life’.
Your Perfect Life
You get to write your own life story.
And it starts right now.
It’s time to unshackle the bonds of mediocrity and reach for the stars.
– What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
– What do you want people to say in your Eulogy?
– What would you do if money, time and skills were irrelevant?
ACTION:
1) Take 15 mins to write down ‘Your Perfect Life’.
– What does your average day look like? (*Dusk til dawn*)
– What are you working on? (*Work, fun, charity*)
– Who are you with? (*Spouse, family, friends, colleagues*)
– What do you have? (*Perfect home, location, possessions*)
– Who have you become? (*How do you feel physically and mentally?*)
– Write down any specific wish you have for yourself.
Do Not:
– Think modestly – Think big and push yourself. (The same effort is required, so go big!)
– Succumb to fear – Feeling scared is an indicator that it’s important to you. Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway – not the absence of fear. Back yourself!
The biggest risks are the ones not taken. Use fear as your compass.
Massive scary goals provide perspective.
The Vision for ‘Your Perfect Life’ will guide you on what to do, which decision to make and what opportunities to take.
Run everything through it and say “no” to anything that isn’t aligned.
Finally, ‘Your Perfect Life’ is not a distant shore to be reached but a guiding star to follow. There is no ‘final destination’.
The joy is found in the journey.
It sounds cheesy, but don’t throw up 🤢 …It’s true!
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” –
Carl Rogers
The Path to Perfect
We’re now going to turn your vision into tangible targets (goals).
‘Your Perfect Life’ will guide you in the right direction. Your targets will keep you on track.
ACTION:
2) Using your vision, create goals for the 3 core areas of life – Health, Wealth and Relationships:
– Brainstorm – Create a massive list of goals for each area.
3) Select the Top 1-3 goals, ideally 1, for Health, Wealth and Relationships:
– The more goals you have, the less focus you can give to each one.
– Use the Pareto Principle or the ‘80:20 Rule’. Which goals could achieve 80% of the results with just 20% of the effort?
– If you select 3 goals for Wealth, keep to 1 or 2 in Health and Relationships.
– TIP: Interlink goals (where possible) to ensure alignment. Avoid goals that clash.
– 1) Lose 15lbs. 2) Find a partner. 3) Increase self confidence. ✅ (Good alignment)
– 1) Lose 15lbs. 2) Increase Bench Press by 50lbs. ❌ (Conflict potential)
4) Create big milestones for each goal:
– Starting at ‘Your Perfect Life’, work backwards and create tangible targets for where you’ll be in:
– 10 Years
– 1 Year
– “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” – Bill Gates
– You might be at your destination within 10 years. If so, great! If not, estimate to the best of your ability where you’ll be – Think big here!
– Most people overestimate where they’ll be in a year, and finish the year deflated. Set a challenging but realistic milestone of where you’ll be in 12 months.
5) Make your goals SMART:
– Rewrite your 10 Year and 1 Year Goals until they are SMART. Use the following as a guide:
– Specific – Specific goals give you a clear target to aim for. Avoid the generic, “lose weight”. Be specific, “lose 15lbs”.
– Measurable – Measurable goals allow you to track progress. Avoid ambiguity, “Be Healthier”. Make it measurable, “Complete a marathon/lose 15lbs”.
– Actionable – Actionable goals focus on the process (you control) rather than the outcome (you don’t control). There’s nothing wrong with having outcome goals, but ensure you have a process goal to support it. Outcome goal, “Complete a Marathon”. Process goal, “Complete every run on my 16-week marathon training plan”.
– Relevant – Relevant goals are challenging (but achievable) and meaningful. It’s normal to feel slightly scared and excited. The goals should also be aligned to ‘Your Perfect Life’ giving you meaning to stay the course.
– Time-based – Time-based goals have a definitive deadline to create urgency. When will you achieve the goal? “I will lose 15lbs and weigh 170lbs by 30th June 2024”.
6) Create small milestones for each goal:
– Starting at your 1 Year Goal, work backwards and create tangible targets for what you need to complete by:
– Quarter 1 (31 Mar)
– Month 1 (31 Jan)
– Week 1 (7 Jan)
7) Install daily habits for each goal (where appropriate):
– Success in anything comes down to ‘consistency over time’. Which daily habits do you need to install into your life to achieve your goal?
– Every day, commit to 1-3 tasks that will move you towards your weekly goals.
– Do these tasks first thing, every single morning, before the world starts distracting you. If you don’t have time – Turn off the screens, go to bed earlier and wake up earlier.
– Complete any tasks you didn’t complete in the morning during the day or the evening.
– Complete any tasks you didn’t complete during the week on the weekend.
– Make the daily standard easy enough to achieve WHEN (not if) you feel tired, lazy or unmotivated.
– Eg. If you can write between 1,000-1,500 words a day, make the habit “Write at least 500 or 750 a day”. By reducing the bar, you make the habit ‘impossible to fail’ and maintain consistency, even when you’re feeling off. The rest of the time, you can carry on writing 1,000-1,500 words a day.
– Don’t break the chain (Consistency Over Time = Success).
8) Change your behaviour FAST
– The fastest way to change your behaviour is to change your environment.
– I’m going to emphasise this point again due to its importance… You can change yourself quickly, by upgrading your environment. (Physical and Digital)
– Surround yourself with the people and information of who you want to become.
– Make friends with people who do this.
– Join clubs (physical or digital).
– Consume content (TV, YouTube, Social Media, books and podcasts).
– Attend classes, courses and talks – and network.
– Print out ‘Your Perfect Life’ and Goals so you see them multiple times a day.
– Move home.
– Become obsessed.
– Cut any ties with people or information that work against ‘Your Dream Life’.
– Avoid consuming content that blocks your progress.
– Unfollow social media accounts, email lists or communities.
– This includes family, friends, colleagues or neighbours. (Not easy, but if they love you they will support your dream – Wouldn’t you support them?)
– Becoming your Best Self is difficult. You will feel like an imposter. You will miss elements of your old life but be strong and stay the course… your life is about to change.
– The new people who enter your life will inspire, motivate and support you.
– The new information you learn will invigorate you.
– On your path to ‘Your Perfect Life’ you’ll experience a new zest for life.
– You will start feeling like a new person because you’re becoming one.
Guarantee Success By Making Mistakes
In my 20s, I wouldn’t say I was scared of making a mistake. I just hated it. So, I avoided doing things that I might mess up. I played it “safe”.
This was the mistake.
The biggest mistake you can make is attempting to not make mistakes. You’re not giving yourself a chance to succeed.
SAFETY = NO RISK
NO RISK = NO REWARD
RISK = REWARD
If you want to make ‘Your Dream Life’ a reality, you will have to do things you haven’t done before.
You will need to take calculated risks.
This will feel uncomfortable but all growth exists on the other side of discomfort.
Remember, No Risk = No Reward.
Risk & Mitigation
Your performance and progress will be limited by your biggest constraint.
We all have constraints – I’m an overthinker and analyser (meaning I work slowly) – and it’s our job to identify the greatest point of congestion and release it.
You don’t have to work harder. Work smarter.
ACTION:
9) Risk Mitigation:
– Select your highest priority goal.
– Write down as many possible constraints or risks which will prevent you from achieving it.
– Highlight what you think is the biggest risk.
– Write down as many solutions as you can to mitigate that risk.
– Move on to the next biggest risk and repeat.
As a slow operator, my constraint is perfectionism. I attempt to impose time constraints to complete work and have a goal of ‘good enough’, which isn’t easy for me.
Naturally, my standard isn’t awful. I won’t allow it. My issue is not creating enough. To increase volume I must lower my standard and work towards made-up deadlines.
What’s your biggest risk to not achieving your goal?
What are you going to do to mitigate that risk?
Win or Learn
You won’t be able to plan for every outcome and that’s not the idea. Ultimately, you will make a mistake but there’s good news…
When you back yourself and take a calculated risk, there are 2 outcomes – You WIN or LEARN.
You’ll either WIN and progress or you’ll LEARN how to do it better next time.
There is no FAILURE*.
Well, that’s not entirely true… FAILURE is giving up.
If you refuse to give up and keep moving forward, you’ll WIN or LEARN.
Making a mistake is inevitable and acceptable. Repeating it is not.
*There’s no shame in ‘quitting’ if you know this isn’t for you. Just make sure you’ve given it a fair shot (most people quit too early). Lack of skill and confidence are not reasons to quit if you want to do it. Just keep going.
Do, Then Review
If you’ve worked through this process, you’ll now have:
– ‘Your Dream Life’ vision.
– 1-3 SMART Goals for – Health, Wealth and Relationships.
– Broken down into 10 year, 1 year, 1 quarter, 1 month and 1 week goals.
– 1-3 daily actions/habits that move you towards them and are achievable.
– List of ways to upgrade your environment (people, clubs, courses, content, etc)
– List of the highest potential risks and solutions to overcome them.
You’re ready for takeoff! 🧑🚀🚀
You’re always in one of 3 stages in ‘The Success Cycle’ – Plan, Do or Review.
In Part 1, you took some time to ‘Review’.
In Part 2 (now), you’ve made a ‘Plan’ to move towards your vision.
That means, the next stage is ‘Doing’.
Now, I’m about to drop some big-time knowledge that could be overlooked in the vat of information in this post, so I’m going to highlight it in big bold font for emphasis…
Your speed and likelihood of success are proportional to the rate you complete the ‘Success Cycle’.
Increase the frequency and increase the progress.
How quickly can you Do, Review, and Plan?
Reviewing your progress this time next year is not enough to change your life.
Implement regular review sessions to assess performance and course-correct.
This is my review process:
10) Daily Review (5-10 mins)
– Assess Day – Did I complete my Top 3 tasks? (Mark out of 10).
– What Went Well? – Select 3 positive things from today. (Celebrate your wins!)
– What Needs Work? – Select 3 things that could be better (KEY – provide solutions).
– Weekly Goals – Are you on track? What do I need to do to achieve them?
– Tomorrow’s Tasks – Select your Top 3 tasks for tomorrow.
– Schedule – Book slots in your calendar to complete your Top 3.
11) Weekly Review (15-30 mins)
– Assess Week – Did you achieve your Top 3 Weekly Goals? (Mark out of 10).
– Wins – What were your biggest wins or proudest moments for the week?
– Challenges – What were your biggest challenges or setbacks this week? How can you mitigate them in future?
– Learning – What did you learn this week?
– Weekly Goals – Are you on track? What do I need to do to achieve them?
– Next Week’s Goals – Select your Top 3 Goals for next week.
– Schedule – Book slots in your calendar to complete your Top 3 Goals.
12) Monthly/Quarterly Review (1-2 hour)
– Assess Month/Quarter – Did you achieve your Top 3 Goals? (Mark out of 10).
– Wins – What were your Top 3 biggest wins or proudest moments?
– Challenges – What were your Top 3 biggest challenges or setbacks? How can you mitigate them in future?
– Highest Value – What were the most valuable things that you did and how
could you do more of them? (20% of actions that drove 80% of results)
– Lowest Value – What were the least valuable things that you did, and how
could you do less of them? (80% of actions that drove 20% of results)
– Learning – What were your Top 3 biggest insights this month/quarter?
– Goals – What are your Top 3 goals for next month/quarter?
– Schedule – Book slots in your calendar to complete your Top 3 Goals.
13) Annually Review (4-8 hours)
– See Part 1.
“An Ounce of Prevention Is Worth a Pound of Cure”
Benjamin Franklin
The review sessions seem like a lot of work. You’ll naturally want to skip over them. Don’t!
Daily and weekly reviews are two of the most impactful habits you can install to succeed in anything. The time spent conducting these sessions will save you DAYS, WEEKS, and even YEARS of wasted energy going in the wrong direction.
I almost always feel like NOT doing them.
But like working out, meditating and being kind… I NEVER regret doing them.
If you don’t review, you don’t acquire the valuable information required to Plan and Do.
Do them daily and weekly to complete ‘The Success Cycle’ more frequently.
This is how I do them. Take what you like and ditch what you don’t.
Make them your own. Include:
– Performance assessment of your SMART Goals. (Measurable – You either did it or you didn’t)
– Reflect on the good (celebrate) and the bad (learn). (Don’t dwell too long on either)
– Set up the next milestone (Day/Week/Month etc.)
Don’t overcomplicate it.
Do a half-arsed version rather than skipping it altogether.
Consistency Over Time = Success
Reflect and share this with someone.
ASK
“Am I willing to complete this process and see what I’m capable of?”
“How can I move towards my ‘Perfect Life’ vision today?”
“Which stage in ‘The Success Cycle’ do I consistently overlook – Plan, Do or Review?”
Write down what comes to mind.
TRY
13 Steps to Becoming the Best Version of You in 2024:
1) Write down ‘Your Perfect Life’.
2) Using your vision, create goals for the 3 core areas of life – Health, Wealth and Relationships.
3) Select the Top 1-3 goals for Health, Wealth and Relationships.
4) Create 10-Year and 1-Year milestones for each goal.
5) Make your goals SMART.
6) Create Quarterly, Monthly and Weekly milestones for each goal.
7) Install daily habits for each goal (where appropriate).
8) Change your Environment (physical and digital).
9) Identify the biggest risks and create solutions for them.
10-13) Create and schedule a simple Daily Review (5-10 mins), Weekly Review (15-30 mins), Monthly Review (1-2 hours) and Annual Review (4-8 hours).
10 x extra ‘Huw Points’ are up for grabs if you share your takeaways with someone else.
If you’re unsure who you can trust, share them with me.
I read and reply to every email, and remember I’m rooting for you!
Remember: Little by little, a little becomes a lot.
SHARE
Reply to this email and share how it went for you. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.
SHARE your key takeaways with a friend or loved one.
SHARE them with me.
SHARE this post with one person who needs it.
Lead from the front and inspire others to follow.
Have an awesome week!
Huw
