I Have NO F*cking Idea What I’m Doing

Every Sunday, I send you something to THINK about, a question to ASK yourself, something to TRY and invite you to SHARE.

Want to advertise in this Newsletter?

Book HERE

THINK

“If you’re not upsetting idiots, you might be an idiot.”

– Ted Nugent

I’m a total f*cking idiot!

I feel useless.

Will I ever understand this, or am I destined to be dumb?

We all have areas in our lives where we feel inadequate…

Even me! 🤣

[Thankfully Lou doesn’t read these Newsletters!]

But we all have areas where we excel and find it easy.

There’s currently one distinct area of my life that’s a bottleneck to progress. I can’t leave it unattended.

I know that if I can fix this area, everything else will become effortless and easy.

In this week’s Newsletter, I’m going to share where I feel totally inadequate because the method I use to approach incompetence can be replicated for you in personal finance.

You might struggle with:

Controlling your spending
Investing in stocks, property or crypto
Starting a business from scratch
How to retire early?!

Here’s how I’m approaching something I have no f*cking clue how to do. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Dreadful Dog Dad

I’m just over 3 weeks into being a new Dog Dad.

The first week was pretty rough. We were questioning whether we made the right decision and if we were cut out to be dog Parents.

Thankfully, we’re starting to find our feet.

Well, sort of…

Holly is a 4-year-old Doberman. She’s a retired breeding bitch from a 5-star Breeding program.

She’s used to being in a Kennel for large chunks of time. When she’s out and about, she’s used to socialising with loads of other dogs and humans, and having lots of free room to run around.

She had regular obedience training and even a bit of hobby protection work.

She’s a mid to low tier female in the pack, meaning she isn’t overly dominant or driven. She’s used to falling in line with the alpha females and being one of the pack.

The breeder also said she’s a bit of a clown, which is rare for a female Doberman.

Her life has dramatically changed with us.

She’s now living with two loving but inexperienced owners. No other dogs or humans.

She’s starting to get familiar with her new home life, but she doesn’t trust us to take charge just yet.

In the house, she’s a wonderfully loving, calm, and silly pet dog.

Outside the house, she’s like an insecure teenage boy trying to look hard in front of his mates.

She’s not used to having to take charge in the pack and she’s not particularly good at it.

She gets highly stressed, anxious or aggressive when we approach other dogs.

Just like Lou… when I walk into the front room in my underwear, asking if she’d like to join me in the bedroom.

Is this it?!

Are we stuck living with an antisocial/insecure dog for the next 4-8 years?!

I can understand why some owners isolate their dogs, walk at “quiet times” to avoid confrontation, or even hand their dogs back into care.

It’s been a real challenge.

But I’m not wired like that.

What are YOU Avoiding?

There’s an area of finance you’re avoiding.

What is it?

It could be controlling spending, earning more, investing wisely or knowing how much you need to retire.

You KNOW what it is.

You feel like an idiot.

You don’t understand it.

You’re overwhelmed and confused.

And it feels like this THING just isn’t for you.

For the rest of this Newsletter, I’d like you to be open-minded to the fact that YOU could do a complete 180, and get EVERYTHING you desire from that it.

Don’t give up.

Stop avoiding it.

Believe in yourself.

And START moving towards it.

Because if you can push through this, you can push through anything. 👊

I currently feel inadequate as a Dog Dad, and I’m going to turn that around.

YOU can follow the same steps to transform how you feel in your chosen area of finance or life in general.

4 Tips to Transformation

TIP 1: Self-Compassion 101

Before charging into action, I start with self-care.

There are 3 things I look for to ensure I’m looking after myself.

1. Common Humanity

When Michael Jackson teamed up with R Kelly to create a song, you might not feel completely reassured nowadays, but the title of the track is where we start.
“You Are Not Alone”
We ALL struggle. It’s not because of who you are but because you’re human.
It’s reassuring to know that you’re not alone – others are currently struggling with you, and many have worked through it.
I’m not the only person who’s felt this way. Many others have been able to find a solution and so can I.

2. Be Kind

Don’t be overly harsh on yourself.
Treat yourself the way you’d treat a child.
[Insert Michael Jackson and R Kelly joke] 🤭
Being mean isn’t helping you.

3. Self Care

Am I doing the things that help me feel at my best?
Am I NOT doing the things that make me feel crappy?
I personally assess – Sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation, socialising, caffeine/alcohol intake, being in nature, and fun/adventure.
If I’m feeling off, it’s usually because one or multiple of those things are off.
If I’m on top of my Self Care, I move on.

TIP 2: My Secret to Transformation

I don’t mean to sound arrogant. I’m just speaking my truth.

From owning my belief in this manner (whether I’m factually right or wrong), it serves me in a positive way, which is why I do it.

I’m not used to being bad at things.

I take pride in being good at anything important to me.

Am I bad at things?

Of course!

Ask Lou! 🤣

But if it’s something I care about… NO.

Or at least not for long.

How can I be so confident?

I have a secret. 🤫

A secret I’m going to share with you now that’s helped me turn from a numpty novice into an excellent exemplar a number of times.

When I did Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu a few years ago, someone asked me how I was able to progress so quickly.

My drills, positions and finishes were improving faster than their own, and they wanted to know what they were doing wrong or what I was doing right.

So, I told them the secret.

Here it is…

I outwork them.

I asked them, “How many times do you attend class?”

They replied, “1-3 times a week.”

I went 6 times a week. Sometimes twice a day.

But I wasn’t done…

In the morning and evening, I’d stretch and practice my movements and positions.

During the day, I’d study videos (YouTube) of people doing what I wanted to do.

If one person can do something well, why can’t I move closer to that?

I try to find what GOOD LOOKS LIKE and model as much as I can.

I make up for my lack of knowledge and experience by doing it more, and if I’m in a group, my competitive drive kicks in and I’ll try to outwork everyone.

The person seemed disappointed.

But this system has served me so well in all areas of life.

Alex Hormozi has a simple way of framing this, which I LOVE!

“Outwork your self-doubt” – Alex Hormozi

If you feel self-doubt… work harder.

How I’m Currently Outworking Self-Doubt

I signed up to an online 6 month Professional Dog Trainer Course. Me and Lou try to work on it every day.

I don’t want to be a professional Dog Trainer, but by learning how to become one, it will improve my understanding of Dogs, how to deal with challenging behaviours and build a close bond.

We’ve completed a couple of 1-to-1’s with an experienced Dog Trainer.

I purchased the Dogit Training app for my phone to help with Obedience drills.

I continue to consume Dog Training content on YouTube daily.

TIP 3: Work Harder on What?

Where do you need to focus?

I wrote a Tweet a while back that should help with clarification:

If you don’t know what to do, pursue education.

If you know what to do, pursue action.

If you’re taking action, pursue consistency.

If you’re consistent, pursue patience.

Where are you?

I’m between lines 3 and 4 – Action and Consistency.

TIP 4: The Expert Inside of You

You might be struggling in THIS area of your life, but there’s another area of your life where you excel.

What is that?

How would you approach a problem in that area?

My dad wasn’t great with Personal Finances, but he loved fitness. He particularly enjoyed Mountain Biking, Road Cycling and Spin.

When it came to finance, he lacked resilience, he had little drive and wanted to quit straight away.

I asked him about how he’d tackle a tough track, a challenging training session or competing in a monthly gym tournament on the bike.

He responded with phrases like, “I’d get stuck in”, “I’d give it everything”, or “I’d just do my best”.

I asked him if he encountered people who struggled with Mountain Biking, Cycling or Spin. He replied, “Yes, and I never understood it”.

And the penny dropped.

His mindset was totally different!

I asked him to tap into the Cycling mindset for a moment and used the phrases he shared with me to approach Personal Finance.

“Let’s get stuck in.”

“Give it everything.”

“Just do your best.”

Where do you excel?

Tap into the “Expert Inside of You” and approach the issue as you would in that realm.

Eliminate your Limiting Beliefs, be courageous and take on a more resilient response.

Reflect and share this with someone.

ASK

“What area of Personal Finance are you avoiding?”

“In what ways could you outwork your self-doubt?”

Write down what comes to mind.

TRY

If you’re struggling in an area of personal finance or your life in general, try the 4 Tips in today’s Newsletter to see if you can perform a full transformation.

TIP 1: Self-Compassion 101

1. Common Humanity
- “You Are Not Alone”
2. Be Kind
- Treat yourself the way you’d treat a child.
3. Self Care
- Are you doing the things that help you feel at your best?
- Or are you doing the things that you feel crappy?

TIP 2: My Secret to Transformation

Outwork your self-doubt.

TIP 3: Work Harder on What?

Where do you need to focus?
Education, Action, Consistency or Patience.

TIP 4: The Expert Inside of You

Tap into the “Expert Inside of You” and approach the issue as you would in that realm.

Which is your favourite Tip?

HIT REPLY and let me know if you’ve tried any of these approaches. Did they work?

I read and reply to every email, and remember, I’m rooting for you!

Remember: Little by little, a little becomes a lot.

Reply to this email and share how it went for you. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.