How to Get Anything You Want in Life

Every Sunday, I send you something to THINK about, a question to ASK yourself, something to TRY and invite you to SHARE.

THINK

“You create your experience through your beliefs about yourself and the nature of reality. Another way to understand this is to realize that you create your experiences through your expectations.”
Seth Godin

I’ve just got back from a wonderful 2-week break exploring Scotland. Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with all the travel details. Just one… 😉😁

Do you believe in star signs?

What about superstition, fortune tellers, tarot or crystals?

Is it all hocus pocus or do you think there’s an element of truth within them?

Pick a colour, pick a number, lift the flap and reveal your fortune

I’m not here to judge. Here’s my take…

I’m scientifically minded.

I don’t believe in life after death and I don’t believe people can ‘see’ the future with any certainty.

However…

I also believe in the power of energy and intention. There are so many things we don’t understand about our brains, to the extent that we’re all guilty of underutilising them.

I believe some people can read body language, tonality and energy to the level that can accurately predict a person’s personality, what they do and what they’re likely to become.

As an open-minded guy, I decided to have a palm reading in Edinburgh, by the wonderful Elaine Davidson. She holds the World Record for being the ‘Most Pierced Woman’. You can’t miss her if you walk the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.

Why?

Curiosity. Intrigue. Fun… Why not?!

I didn’t believe that the lines on my hands would expose my future, but I was open to discussing my future with an interesting person and seeing what came up.

The Expectation Effect

Before my 2-week break, I started reading ‘The Expectation Effect’ by David Robson. The bold but suitable subtitle is ‘How Your Mindset Can Change Your World’.

I’ve found this book both inspiring and terrifying.

In the late 1970s, dozens of healthy young men who had emigrated from Laos to the US started dying in their sleep. 😮

The US medical authorities had no idea what was happening and called the phenomenon “sudden unexpected nocturnal death syndrome”.

Today, we know the cause.

The men experienced sleep paralysis, which is common and harmless, but they believed in an evil spirit who would sit on their chests during the night, suffocating them as they slept. The men were away from their families, shamans and support systems to ward off the evil spirits. The men likely panicked, exacerbated a form of heart arrhythmia, which triggered a cardiac arrest.

The book is PACKED with examples of how our expectations and beliefs – no matter how crazy – influence our health, wealth and well-being.

Robson shares examples of misdiagnosis of cancer patients with good and bad outcomes.

One patient was incorrectly diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 6 months to live. They died 6 months later. Upon their death, it was discovered that their cancer was treatable and more benign. They had convinced themselves to die.
There were multiple cases of the reverse happening too, where people had ‘terminal cancer’ only to completely reverse the seemingly impossible due to their optimistic beliefs and expectations.

The running theme throughout the book is the notable power of the Placebo and Nocebo Effect.

In Latin:

Placebo means, “I shall be acceptable or pleasing.”
Nocebo means, “I shall cause harm.”

In any given circumstance, what you believe to be true can help you or harm you.

Placebo Positive

If you’re anything like me, you might feel both empowered and concerned over these influential effects.

I choose to focus on the positive, and I invite you to join me.

Take a moment to answer these questions honestly:

Do you use positive or negative words about yourself?
Do you hold onto expectations of failure?
Do you criticise, blame and complain?
Are you harming or helping yourself?

One of the most encouraging takeaways from the book was the following:

The placebo effect is so strong that it works even when you know it’s a placebo.

Despite knowing you’re tricking yourself, you can still trick yourself.

Why wouldn’t you use this to your advantage?

Remember that the words we use, the expectations we have, and how we talk about ourselves, matter.

Therefore:

Catch yourself when you set foot on a pessimistic path.
Replace your thoughts, feelings or words with a more optimistic option.
Turn nocebo into placebo – harm into harmony.
Reap the positive outcomes over time.

Naive Optimism

I will never forget hearing the British actress Dame Helen Mirren talk about living in the UK versus the US. On a UK talk show, she bravely admitted to prefer the US.

When asked why, she said that Brits tend to be cynical and pessimistic. She found Americans to be slightly naive but optimistic.

She said she’d prefer naive optimism any time.

I don’t live in the US, but I completely agree with her preference.

Many Brits scoff at Americans. They believe they’re delusional, self-promotional, and over-the-top. Some people most certainly are.

But I think many people (particularly in the UK) could be better off with a healthy dose of naive optimism, and a sprinkle of mild delusion.

Being Slightly Delusional

The newly crowned UFC Bantamweight Champion, “Suga” Sean O’Malley recently admitted on the Joe Rogan Podcast that his success was inevitable.

At 18 years old, he left home to train MMA full-time. He told his trainer that he was not only going to join the UFC (the most elite fighting organisation), but he was going to become a superstar.

Sean admitted that he was delusional, but he said that being “a little bit of delusion is an important ingredient in the recipe of success”.

From the reams of evidence David Robson presents in the ‘Expectation Effect’, I can only agree.

Robson says, “The brain evolved to make predictions, drawing on our own previous experiences, our observations of others and of our cultural norms – a process that underlies our very perception of reality, and prepares the mind and body for whatever it has to face. And we now know the ways we can reappraise those expectations to create our own self-fulfilling prophecies.”

What self-fulfilling prophecy are you creating?

If you believe that you cannot transform your finances by monetising your skills and knowledge, live happily on a budget or invest wisely for the long term, you won’t even try, and you’ll prove yourself right.

Why would you knowingly hold yourself back?

Instead, can you allow yourself a little delusion?

Try allowing yourself to talk positively about what you can achieve. Even if deep down it’s hard to believe.

Give it a try…

“I can achieve anything within the laws of the universe.“

“I will [INSERT DESIRE]”

Remember, the placebo works its magic even when you know you’re doing it.

Summary

If you believe in superstition, star signs, fortune tellers, tarot or crystals, then their impact (good or bad) will much more likely play out. Perhaps even exactly as predicted.

If you strongly refute their power, then their influence will not exist.

You get to decide.

Keeping your expectations low to protect yourself is common and understandable but know that it’s unhelpful as our expectations define our reality.

Believing that you’ll become a millionaire or financially free in the next 5 years doesn’t guarantee the outcome, but it’s a key first step, and it holds as much influence as just about anything else you can do.

You can get anything you want in life. Especially when you expect to.

Reflect and share this with someone.

ASK

Take a moment to consider the self-fulfilling prophecy you’re creating:

“Do you use positive or negative words about yourself?”
“Do you hold onto expectations of failure?”
“Do you criticise, blame and complain?”

Write down what comes to mind.

TRY

Do you walk down the path of pessimism or positivity?

Is it time for a change?

This week, I’d like you to try expanding your expectations.

Replace any negative expectations, thoughts, feelings or words with some positivity, naive optimism and even a sprinkle of delusion.

Let the placebo effect do its thing, bask in the presence of positivity for now and stack the odds in your favour for the future.

HIT REPLY and tell me how you’re expanding your expectations.

I read and reply to every email, and remember, I’m rooting for you.

Remember: Little by little, a little becomes a lot.

Reply to this email and share how it went for you. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.