Beat Self Doubt and Break Free

Every Sunday I send out something to think about, a question to ponder and something to try to make your life a little more pleasant. The idea is to inspire and encourage positive change. Readers share their progress so we can all benefit from the learnings.

THINK

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” 

Suzy Kassem

I’m sure how accurate this story is, but it doesn’t matter. The message behind it is worth hearing, so here it is…

Once upon a time, there was a man who stumbled upon a group of majestic elephants. These enormous creatures were being held by nothing more than a small rope tied to a stick. The man was perplexed by the fact that the elephants did not break free from their flimsy restraints. After all, they were capable of breaking away at any time, yet they remained in bondage.

He approached a nearby trainer and asked him why the elephants didn’t attempt to break free. The trainer responded by saying that when the elephants were young and small, they were tied up with the same size rope. At that age, the rope was strong enough to hold them in place. But as they grew bigger and stronger, they were conditioned to believe that they couldn’t break free. They thought the rope was still strong enough to hold them, so they never tried to break away.

The man was astounded by the elephants’ behaviour. They had been taught to believe that they were powerless and unable to escape, even though they were perfectly capable of doing so.

Self-doubt ruins more lives than just about anything.  

Many of us hold onto limiting beliefs that prevent us back from achieving our goals. We give up on our dreams because we failed before. 

Are you the adult elephant? 

But just like the elephants, we have the power to break free from the shackles that bind us. 

Failure is not a reason to give up. It’s a natural part of the learning process, and it presents us with an opportunity to become better. 

There’s a truth within all of us that’s waiting to be discovered… 

You’re far more capable than you give yourself credit for.

I know a lot of people struggle to believe that. I did. 

The objective truth is that you’re capable of anything within the Laws of Physics. The reason you don’t achieve your goals isn’t because you’re not capable…

It’s due to your perception. 

Thankfully, like many things, it can be improved. 

The simple (not easy) solution is to:

“Outwork your self-doubt” – Alex Hormozi

If the elephants didn’t give up and kept trying as they grew, they would break the bonds. 

If you’ve had 5 unsuccessful first dates, and lack belief in attracting someone, do 50 or 500 first dates and reassess. 

If you’ve published 3 books and you’re not convinced it’s working, publish 30 or 300 and review their performance. 

Do a little bit more, for longer.

Here are some more considerations to help you break the bonds holding you back:

• Identify what makes you doubt yourself
  • Is it a particular task, person or situation? 
  • Once you have identified what triggers your self-doubt, you can start to work on it.
• Self Confidence = Self Trust
  • Low self-confidence is a lack of trust in oneself. Earn back trust by keeping the small promises you make to yourself.
  • Eg. Do that extra rep, put in 10 mins more work, show up early, make that call, have that tough conversation, ignore that dessert. 
  • Once you’ve proven you can keep the little promises you make to yourself, your self-belief will rise. 
• Reward your kept promises
  • How do you like to indulge? Give yourself permission to treat yourself once you’ve kept a promise. 
  • Reinforce positive behaviour and enjoy yourself. You deserve it.
• Common humanity
  • You are not alone. We all experience self-doubt at times.
  • This changes nothing and everything.
  • Successful people hear self-doubt but choose not to listen. Can you?
• Ask for help
  • Talk to a friend, family member or specialist. 
  • Actionable advice from others can help you move past obstacles.
  • External belief and support can help drive you forward.

Improvement won’t happen overnight. Overcoming self-doubt takes time and practice, but with the right mindset and support, you can learn to trust yourself and your abilities.

Don’t give in. 

Do a little bit more, for longer. 

And before long, you’ll be lost as to why that little stick and rope held you back for so long.  

 Reflect and share this list with someone. 

ASK

If you’re interested in overcoming self-doubt and breaking out of that funk, consider the following questions: 

“What are the negative self-talk patterns that contribute to my self-doubt, and how can I challenge them?” 

“What are the common obstacles that derail my efforts, and how can I overcome them?

“How can I outwork my self doubt?”

 Write down what comes to mind. 

TRY

I invite you to try breaking away from the ‘stick and rope’ this week. 

Try one of the following:

• Outworking your self-doubt.
• Identifying the root cause.
• Keeping little promises.
• Rewarding your efforts. 
• Asking for help.

Don’t expect overnight success but don’t be surprised by how little efforts add up to significant satisfaction over time. 

 Remember: Little by little, a little becomes a lot. 

SHARE

Comment below and share how it went for you.

If you tried to boost self-belief this week, COMMENT and share your wins with the world.